A Kind of Inherent Inertia

From the novel Flights by Olga Tokarczuk:

“Am I doing the right thing by telling stories? Would it be better to fasten the mind with a clip, tighten the reins, and express myself not by means of stories and histories, but with the simplicity of a lecture, where in sentence after sentence a single thought gets clarified, and then others are tacked onto it in the succeeding paragraphs? I could use quotes and footnotes, I could in the order of points or chapters reap the consequences of demonstrating step by step what it is I mean; I would verify an aforementioned hypothesis and ultimately be able to carry off my arguments like sheets after a wedding night, in view of the public. I would be the mistress of my own text, I could take an honest per-word payment for it.

“As it is I’m taking on the role of midwife, or of the tender of a garden whose only merit is at best sowing seeds and later to fight tediously against weeds.

“Tales have a kind of inherent inertia that is never possible to fully control. They require people like me — insecure, indecisive, easily led astray. Naive.”

I haven’t worked on the novel at all since I last wrote. I’ve barely thought about it except to notice that I haven’t thought about it. I have the time every week I spend many hours reading. I have the discipline every day I do things I don’t want to do. But then I look at the notebook I started for the next draft and the probably-too-detailed outline in Scrivener and think, Maybe later. Later when, though? Why not right now?


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